Guide
How to Find a Fuck Buddy Over 50
Where to look, what to say and how to keep it simple, from people who have been helping grown-ups do it since 2012.
The short answer
To find a fuck buddy over 50, join a site made for no strings fun with an older crowd, say plainly on your profile that you want something casual, message people near you, meet somewhere public first and agree the ground rules early. The rest is chemistry.
What kind of arrangement do you want?
"Fuck buddy" covers a lot of ground. For some people it means one regular lover they see every week or two. For others it's an occasional meet when both of you can get away, or a discreet arrangement that fits round a marriage, a career or a family. Some want someone exclusive; some are happy for both of you to see other people.
Work out your answers before you start looking. How often would you like to meet? How far will you travel? Do you need it kept quiet? Are you after someone your own age, or older, or younger? Knowing what you want makes every later step easier, from writing your profile to the first conversation about rules.
Where can you find a fuck buddy over 50?
The quickest route is a site where everyone has signed up for the same thing. On Old F-Buddy every member joined a site for no strings fun, so you never have to work out whether the person you like is secretly looking for a husband or a wife. The crowd is grown-up too: half of all members are 45 or older, and more than four in five are at least 35.
Some people find a fuck buddy among people they already know: an old flame, a friend who has always flirted, someone from the same social circle. It can work beautifully, but it carries more risk, because a no or an awkward ending touches the rest of your life. If you go that way, read how to ask someone to be your fuck buddy first.
Wondering how the different sites compare? Our comparisons set Old F-Buddy beside the names you'll have heard of, and our answer to whether there's a fuck buddy site for over 50s lists the options side by side.
What makes a profile people reply to?
A clear, recent photo of your face does more than any line of text. Smile, stand in daylight and leave out the sunglasses. Add one photo that shows the rest of you as you are now, not as you were ten years ago.
Then write two or three honest lines. Say what you're like, what you enjoy and what you're after: "Divorced, easy-going, looking for a regular lover for afternoons" says more than a paragraph of adjectives. Give your real age and set the age range you want to meet. Our profile tips for over 50s go into more detail.
What should your first message say?
Keep it short, personal and light. Mention something from their profile, say a line about yourself and ask an easy question. "You like walking in the Peaks? So do I. Do you have a favourite pub at the end of a walk?" gets more replies than "hi gorgeous". Being clear that you want something casual is fine; being crude in a first message isn't.
Message people close enough to meet. Your daily matches already lean towards people nearby; see where members live on our old fuck buddy near me page.
How do you meet safely the first time?
Have a quick video call first, then meet for a drink somewhere public: a pub, a hotel bar, a café. Tell a friend where you'll be, get yourself there and back, and never send money to anyone you haven't met. Where you go after that is up to the two of you. Our first meet tips and our safety page cover the rest.
How do you keep it working?
Talk about the rules early: protection and testing, if you're exclusive, how and when you get in touch, and how either of you can end it. Check in now and then, because feelings and circumstances change. Our fuck buddy rules cover all of it, and if you're coming back to this after a long marriage, our guide to no strings fun after divorce is a good place to start.
Finding a fuck buddy: your questions
Where can I find a fuck buddy over 50?
On a site built for no strings fun with an older crowd, such as Old F-Buddy, where half the members are 45 or over and everyone joined for something casual. Some people also find one among friends or old flames.
Is it normal to want a fuck buddy at 50 or 60?
Yes. Wanting sex doesn't stop at a certain birthday, and a casual arrangement suits plenty of people who don't want another live-in relationship. There's nothing to apologise for.
How long does it take to find a fuck buddy?
It varies with where you live, how open your age range is and how often you message. A clear profile and personal first messages make the biggest difference.
Should I give my real age?
Yes. On a site where people want an older lover, your age is part of the appeal, and starting with a fib makes the first meet awkward.